he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
