question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
