She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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