yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
