I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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