Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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