yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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