i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
