you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
