im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
