We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
