May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize