Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
