You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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