I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
