yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
