so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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