I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize