I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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