Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
