I think my vagina is haunted
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
