i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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