the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
