I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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