Apparently you make a good broom.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
