Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
someone get that fucking seahorse.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
