i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
