I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
