Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
