This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
