I am spending my child support on dildos
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
