hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
