What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so let's talk penis.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
