Just fell off a train. Bad.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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