Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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