Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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