Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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