Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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