last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
