am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You can't just leave with hair like that
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize