Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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