i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
