I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
