This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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