just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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