we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
