You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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