Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
