Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
