I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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