just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
