my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
