No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
