just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize