so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
