She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
