If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
