hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Shame is for Republicans.
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