i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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