Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize