I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
