I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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