why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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