I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
