This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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