He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
