Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
