Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
youre lurking in front of me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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