a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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