it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize