Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
But break dance skills will only take you so far
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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