Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
