The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
